Episode 12 – How to Create Massive Change

Christy Fechser 0:00
Hey friends, welcome back to all my name of growth. I’m so excited that you’re with me today and I’m super excited that we have a special guest today Dr. Or Lena Carrick. I am just so enthralled with her story and what she’s done in her life. And I’m excited to share that with you guys. So she is actually a former pediatrician, gone health and lifestyle coach and also moved to a totally different country, which we’re going to talk about just in a minute, but I just wanted to say welcome Dr. Lena, I’m really excited to have you on today.

Dr. Orlena 0:29
Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. Yes.

Christy Fechser 0:32
Okay. So to get started, I have four random questions. I’m going to ask you that I’ve kind of asked everybody because they’re weird and random. And I don’t know, I just like to kind of get that deeper inside look of who you are. So first question is your favorite author or book?

Dr. Orlena 0:48
Oh, my goodness. My opinion had one. You sprung this on me. I have to say, well, there’s so many I don’t know what to say. Well, I think I love lots of kids books actually having you know, being a mom of four and I love reading to my kids and as a child. I totally loved Roald Dahl. I think he was amazing. But now we have so many amazing kids books. Like who springs to mind David Walliams, and Atticus claw and people like that. I do love a good novel and myself. I’m kind of a Margaret Atwood. Lady. If I’m thinking about you know who I want to read. I do, of course love Jane Austen as well. And then I also love a good self help book and a nutrition book. They’re giving you like,

Christy Fechser 1:35
that one. Totally just described my own bookshelves. So. Okay, next question. Chocolate or vanilla? Well, okay, next question. Favorite destination.

Dr. Orlena 1:51
Oh, another really, really, really?

Christy Fechser 1:54
200 are all over the place. Yeah,

Dr. Orlena 1:57
another really tricky one. I love love, love to travel. In fact, I’ve hardly done any traveling. Since I’ve had my children. They have four children. I always say, I will take my kids traveling. Well, we’ve had COVID Recently, but when they can carry their own suitcases. Yeah. So before I had kids, I did love to travel and I love to dive and travel which is really I’m not someone Well, I wasn’t when I was younger, somebody who could sit on a beach and do nothing. Now I can totally do that. But I think I really love where I live actually. And we have everything here I’m I would say what it’s called, but I don’t want everyone else to know. Okay, I live on the Costa Brava and it is beautiful, beautiful. Here. We have the Mediterranean Sea, which is amazing. We have mountains, we have greed. We have cold winters and hot summers. So I’m just gonna go with my home. And I’ve obviously got my beautiful house as well.

Christy Fechser 2:53
Yeah, well, there’s a reason you live there. Right. I mean, that’s that’s kind of the point. So yeah, exactly. Okay, last question. What do you do to relax?

Dr. Orlena 3:03
Oh, so many things. But swimming is my main my main number one. And I think it’s not so much relax as like, light me up and restore my energy levels. And I do have something for water. I know that water really suits me. Yeah. But it is also the movement. And for me when I’m in the sea. I love I was saying earlier that I saw to octopuses today or they were so beautiful. But you know, when I’m in the sea, seeing the animals and the rocks and the light going through the sea? Oh, it’s amazing.

Christy Fechser 3:37
Yes. So magical. I love these said swimming. And I think too, you know, you’d made a comment about well, maybe not relaxing, I really think that it is I think that most of the time, people actually find relaxation through movement. That, you know, a lot of times people assume and I’ve said this before, for those who are listening again that a lot of people assume that relaxing has to look like yoga and meditation. But that isn’t always the case. And in what I’m finding in every guest that I’ve had so far, that hasn’t been the case at all. It’s been like roller skating or walking or like us swimming. It’s doing something that is active. That clears out our heads and allows us that quiet time, but still gives us that like body movement. So

Dr. Orlena 4:22
yes, absolutely. Absolutely. I do think I have two modes of swimming and one is relaxing, chilling out looking at things. I’m getting really cold now I need to get home and relaxing bed.

Christy Fechser 4:37
Yeah, I understand that. Okay, so, fun questions over now we’re gonna get into the meat of what we’re talking about today. And that really is about finding the ability to like reinvent yourself. So I was really I mean, obviously I love and value everything that you stand for and teach right now in your life. But the thing that really caught me was how you went from being a pediatrician to now a health and lifestyle coach. And that really happened when you had your big move? And you were like, well, I guess I’m gonna go into pediatrics there, but then you didn’t. So can you just give us a little bit of background on where you were? And where you are now? And why you landed on life and, or health and lifestyle coaching rather than pediatrics? Like, what brought you to this point?

Dr. Orlena 5:28
Yeah. Do you want the long story or the shorts? So yeah, I mean, I used to love being a doctor, it’s an amazing, amazing job, the reality of being a doctor is, it does come with a lot of stress. And I think for me, one of the things that I really didn’t like was that you kind of sell your life, your life is chart in charge of someone else, you know, you might ask for a weekend off, do you get it? Well, it kind of depends on the rotor, and, and, you know, that kind of lack of freedom, I think, combined with other things, so you know, I always had this dream, you know, as I say, I loved traveling, and England is very cold. And but I always wanted to, you know, I had this dream when I was younger than I would have like lemon trees in my garden. Now, coming from the UK, that’s not a normal dream. Most people in the UK have a lemon trees indoors, if they have lemon trees, you know, there was always that sort of itchy foot kind of thing. I’m not kind of the person like I don’t know how to describe this. But you know, there is definitely a sort of person who will fit into that hierarchical system. And I think I did fit in. But I don’t think I really enjoyed fitting in and making myself do that. So I think I didn’t really see these pieces until later on. And I remember many years ago when I was pregnant with my second son. And this was when we had another pandemic, it was the swine flu pandemic. And we were not supposed to get pregnant women were not supposed to be seeing kids or anybody who potentially had swine flu, because they didn’t know what the implications were for the unborn child. And essentially, I ended up having to work a weekend of nights where I saw lots of children who had potentially swine flu. And then after that weekend, I spoke to my most senior doctor, the person who’s in charge of the rotor and sort of said, what went on there, and she just totally lost the plot with me. Now in, you know, kindness to her. I suspect she was stressed and not looking after herself. But she took it out on me. And it was like, really, the camel was what do they say the straw that broke the camel’s back? Yeah, yeah. And I remember, like talking to my mum, she lives in France. At the time, this was October, we just turn the heating on in our house. And she was there in a sort of skimpy little top because she’d just been gardening all day. And I had had this idea that I was going to move at some stage in the future, you know that this is what I always wanted to do. But I would make it happen down the line. And it was that realisation of why are you waiting? Why are you waiting to live your dream life. And almost this sort of like leap of faith of you just have to go and make it happen. I don’t know what’s going to happen. But I will make something happen. And I always say I kind of moved with my Eyes Wide Shut. I had no idea what was going to happen. But I just made it happen. And I remember building up to this and we set this date, my husband wanted to stay in the UK for another year. So I had my child. And then we decided we were going to move in May. And in March we came and we looked for a house we had like a week. We need to find we need to find the house and we found the house. And during that whole time, you know, we’d be saying to people, oh, we’re going to move to Spain in May. And they would say things like, and so how are the plans coming? And I’m like, what plans we’re just gonna go in may like it, I’m gonna make it happen. We’re going to find the house, we’re going to do it. And that essentially is, you know, the story we moved. Was it always easy? No, it wasn’t always easy. And there were challenges, particularly mindset challenges. And I tell you what, like looking back at that time, the Internet was kind of in its infancy. So not in that we didn’t have the internet. But you know, now I see so many coaches and so many people helping people build online businesses. Well, there was none of that at the time. If I’d had the internet then and gone. Oh, my goodness, and been able to get some kind of transition coach or lifestyle coach. Oh, my goodness, I would have signed up.

But I, you know, didn’t know how. Yeah, basically I did. I had to figure it out myself.

Christy Fechser 9:42
Yeah, yeah. That’s amazing. I love your story. And I love that you didn’t really have a plan in other than you’re doing it. And that’s really and that’s been like my whole life because I don’t know how I’m gonna do it, but I know that it’s what I want. And so I’m just gonna go for it. And I will come Macross people like I’m the kind of person that like shows up at the airport just in time to board the plane. And there are people that are like, No, I need to be there like three hours in advance just to make sure I can like find my terminal and you know, get in my seat and make sure that everything is like set. And you know, that they’ve got it all, like boxed up nicely. And I’m like, Oh, my gosh, that would make me crazy. I don’t know, all of the I don’t know, I guess I’ve lived enough life that I don’t know, all of the ways that something could happen. I just know that if I start moving in the right direction, it will happen.

Dr. Orlena 10:31
Ya know, and I’m I’m a total believer in that. I don’t know if you’ve heard of Mike Tooley. I think he’s called he does talk notes. And he always talks about the corseted house. And you know, that idea of like, don’t you know, when you’re thinking about what you want to do, don’t get hung up on the towel. Think about that motivational like, this is what you want to do, and make it happen. And, you know, I did the same with my dream house, like, I think it was five or so years ago, and I decided, okay, I want my dream house. And if I don’t have my dream house, soon, my children will have grown up and left home. So I better make it happen. Now. Otherwise, I’m looking at my dream retirement house, right. And I had this vision of what I wanted. And you know, to be honest, no money. And I went, and I looked around all of these houses here in Spain that let you look around very expensive houses, because I was like, Okay, how much money do I need to buy my dream house and I looked around all of these houses. And none of them were my dream house. I’m like, money isn’t the issue here. My dream house is not for sale in this neck of the woods. And because very long story short, we built, you know, we bought a house, which was you know, what we call a doer upper. And we’ve just done it up. And yeah, the steps to do it. I didn’t know how I was gonna do it. I didn’t know how we like when I look back, we didn’t know how we were going to get the deposit to buy the house. And then I had no idea how I was going to buy the house. But each time we’ve made it happen,

Christy Fechser 11:56
yes, yes, yes, I love that. And that that’s like, really my philosophy in life. And the thing that I coach people about is that there’s a million ways to get from LA to New York, you don’t have to know how you’re going to get there, just start going right, if that’s where you want to go, just start moving in that direction. So one of the things that we had talked about on our last conversation was really about the things that it takes in order to create an effective change in your life. And we talked a lot about habits, and just what that really looks like for people and kind of the negative connotation, really, that habits has with people that they think, oh, creating a habit, you know, like it’s drudgery, almost and and also that when they create the so called habit, which I love that you coined the phrase, an acorn habit that has really stuck with me and people thinking that they’ve created a habit and that they’re putting effort into it. And then this thing wasn’t working for them, only to realize that they hadn’t actually created a real habit. So I would love for you to talk a little bit more about habits and kind of that mentality around habits and how to create effective habits that aren’t just little acorn habits.

Dr. Orlena 13:09
Yes, perfect. So fabulous question. So yes, I see this a lot as well. And people go, Oh, my goodness, I don’t want to habits because I want to be spontaneous. And I want to do all these amazing things. And I’m like, Yes, that’s exactly why you need habits. Because if you don’t have habits, you don’t get time to be spontaneous, you don’t get time to go on your bike ride with your husband, like, I don’t go on a bike ride with my husband, unless I put it and we say, you know, we’re going to do this every Friday morning. That’s what we’re doing going on a bike, but it’s a habit and you know, all the other habits around supporting me having that time that I can take off for my business or, you know, cleaning my house or whatever else it is I’m doing. So I like to talk about the habit fairy. So imagine those things that you’re going through your brain every single day, and they might be business related. They might be kid related. So you know, I look back on my life. And what used to go through my brain was, what am I going to cook for dinner, not that my kids are gonna cook it and eat it anyhow. And that thought it wasn’t like it went, you know, dunk, but it was always sort of lurking in the back, you know, and you’re eating a little bit of energy. And it might be you know, how am I going to get my business working? Or how am I going to lose weight? Or how am I going to lead that healthy life and your brain is constantly trying to close that loop and say, yep, how are you going to do that? And you’re using a lot of energy thinking about how how am I going to do this? And the habit fairy goes, Hey, let’s take care of that. So now in my life, I have what I call systems, habits and routines, to cook dinner, and essentially my system habits and routine goes I buy lots of vegetables and I make some food from them. But I’m not thinking about it all the time. It’s like My habit very has taken it away. And I just know, okay, this is what I do at one o’clock, I stop work and go and make lunch and I normally make dinner at the same time. And whatever sort of happens is, is dinner, I don’t have to think about it at other times, because I just know that’s what’s going to happen and other people have different systems, your system isn’t my system, that’s perfectly fine. But that is the power of the habit fairy. And now you can use all of that brain energy to do something that you really like doing whatever that is, that lights you up. So it might be reading, it might be building your business, it might be spending time with your kids, it might be going swimming in the sea or cycling. But without those systems, you don’t have time to do that stuff. And that’s in answer to, you know, ode to love of habits, systems and routines. And I would say, Look, I get it. When I was young, I wanted to be spontaneous, and would never think that I would sort of base my business on teaching people to have habits, systems and routines. Like, that wasn’t me. But now I see the power of them. I’m like, yeah, it’s, we have busy lives, and you can’t get out of that. We’re all busy. Whatever your circumstances are, if you don’t have those habits, you’ve got other habits. And those other habits are the things that you’re doing without thinking and they aren’t serving either your long term health goals or your long term, feeling amazing and doing everything you want to goals. So to talk about acorn habits, you know, like the question is, when is a habit a habit? And the reality is a habit is a habit, when you aren’t thinking about it, it’s something that you do without thinking about it. So it’s not like you’re even in that zone of Oh, my goodness, I don’t like my habits. Because whatever your habit is, you’re just doing it without thinking about it, right? And what happens to most people is, you know, January the first Hey, I’m gonna give up chocolate. My new habit is going to be walking around the block. Now, it’s always February the seventh because that’s my birthday. But February the seventh is when people kind of go, oh, life too busy can’t do this anymore. And then, yeah, exactly. I failed. And then they think I’m a failure. It didn’t work for me, I spent so much time building up this habit. And it’s like, whoa, whoa, you didn’t, you didn’t make it a habit. It was an acorn habit, but you were still thinking about it. So it wasn’t a proper habit. It’s not a proper habit until it’s what I call an oak tree habit, which you don’t, you don’t see that you’ve grown it. So when when does that habit become a habit when you take your eyes off it? So you start off thinking, Oh, I’m building this habit. I’m building this habit. I’m building this habit, and then you totally forget. And then three years later on, you’ll look back and go, Oh, yeah, I did. I did build that habit. But I just totally forgot. And I’m doing it without thinking now.

Christy Fechser 17:50
Right? Right. So I mean, to kind of illustrate that point, really, it’s like brushing teeth, right? I mean, for those who brush their teeth twice a day, it’s just the thing you do when you get up and the thing you do before you go to bed, it isn’t like you have to set an alarm to brush your teeth. Now in creating a new habit, you know, like, let’s take exercising or walking around the block, for example. In the beginning, it can look like setting an alarm. And it can look like reminding yourself every day, this is something I want to implement, I want to implement as I do it over and over and over. You know, it’s a habit when you stop setting your alarm and you continue doing the action. Yes,

Dr. Orlena 18:32
exactly. So how do you form a habit? Repeat, repeat, repeat, there are about a zillion tricks to help you remember how to do it. And one of the things I would say one of the most important thing is that you want to do it. So you know, thinking about exercise, exercise that lights you up, you’re not going to make a habit out of something that you hate doing, because you’re just gonna go I don’t like doing this. So it has to be something that you enjoy doing. But yeah, there are, you know, set alarms, put sticky notes on, it doesn’t matter how you make yourself, remember to do it or make yourself do it. Right. You just need to keep repeating it essentially.

Christy Fechser 19:08
Yes, yes, yes, that’s actually something that I talked about in my courses, about habits and about doing things that move you in the right direction. I mean, it, it can be a desire, and there’s a whole other thing you know about emotions, and setting goals and stuff. But if you don’t have a desire to do it in the first place, and you’re doing it just because somebody else on Instagram is doing it, like that’s a crap method for getting started. That’s not gonna set you off on the right foot. And then if you’re like, Okay, well, yeah, I want to be more fit. I want to have you know, more energy or whatever it is for you and yourself. But if you look at again, take Instagram, for example, and you’re like, oh my gosh, well, that lady does X, Y, and Z in order to get fit. I guess that’s what I have to do. Also a craft method in order to achieve your goal. So the thing is, is like you have to and this is something you actually had said earlier about You know, the way that you prepare your lunches and dinner is like all in one go. And that way dinners made when lunch is made. And that’s, you know, and you said your habits may be different. And your schedule may be different than my way of doing it, which I think is the point that people miss out on so often in life is that we’re supposed to do things our way, if that makes sense for us in our lifestyle, in our family dynamics in our culture in our brains, right to be able to honor ourselves in that place, and to say, Okay, well, you know, what I do want to get fit. And I do want to get active. And so my objective today is to do something that moves my body, rather than saying it has to look this particular way. I heard a woman share a story once about how she was really, really struggling, like with depression, and just feeling like she could not stay on top of everything. And she had gone to therapy. And the therapist said, Well, you know, give me something that you feel like is overwhelming and interested in doing the dishes. And she’s like, okay, so doing the dishes is overwhelming you and she’s like, yes, like you first you have to scrub them all off to make sure that they’re clean that to be loaded properly. And you know, blah, blah, blah, and giving her like, how she feels like it has to be done routine. And the therapist said, why can’t you just load your dishes in the dishwasher? And if you have to run it three times, like, can we make it simplified, at least then your dishes are getting done, and it’s not something you’re having to spend energy on. And I love that you said, you know, you were talking about that, and how those like little niggles in the back of your head are just like expending energy, all the time thinking about how it has to be done, or when it’s going to be done, and how you’re failing at not doing it. If you know, like it can just create this monstrous thing in your head. That doesn’t need to be that way. If you just give yourself permission to do things your way instead of the Instagram way. And also to be able to make that feel the way that you want it to feel, you know that it feels good inside of yourself. And it’s something you really are driven to accomplish. So, on that note, when we’re talking so we form habits, you know, and we’re moving in the right direction, like, how, how did you know when you got to Spain, and you decided, okay, I’m not going to go into pediatrics, I’m actually going to do this totally radically different thing. I know that there are a lot of people out there who come up against the same thing. And they may be in that moment, right this second, that they’re like, I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to do something else. What does it really take? What is that first thing that they have to have inside of themselves in order to be able to move in the right direction? What is that one thing that you think?

Dr. Orlena 22:50
Yeah, I think that’s a really good question. Actually, that didn’t really happen to me, I think what happened to me was I struggled with it because I didn’t want to give up pediatrics. And so I kind of thought I was going to work here, I was going to come here, and that I would get my degree sorted out. We were all in the European Union at the time. And I just thought, oh, I can come across, I can work. And it was far more complicated that I had to go back and redo my finals and do it. It took me a year to get my degree, like translated to be acknowledged here in the European Union. So all of that was going on. And you know, I started for a sort of hobby. My husband is a coder, he said try coding. I was like, Oh, my goodness, that is just a disaster. Can’t do that. To No way. No, I know. And you know, he would be like, hey, try this one. My husband is amazing, but not good at teaching me anything. So you know, that wasn’t gonna happen. And then, you know, I started a blog I had, well, I actually what I did was I wrote a book about looking after kids under the age of one. And I had no idea about blogging. He was wanting to build an app. And I was like, Hey, let’s do this as an app. And eventually they just said, Look, turn it into a website. So I started all this stuff, which I had no idea about. And, you know, back in the day, there wasn’t great resources of like, hey, just do this course. And it will teach you what, what a blog is, like, I had no idea what a blog was, I had no idea of I just randomly put stuff there and hoped that something would happen. And I think for me, that I kind of talk about losing my identity in that moment, and that sort of melting pot, like on the outside, you know, people would come visit me we will leave leaving this holiday life in the sun. I have beautiful children, you know, I don’t want for anything but inside there was just this. What are you doing with your life, like you know, and this thought of you didn’t go to medical school and work all that hard to do nothing. You want to do something? But what I think I didn’t do was give myself permission just to say you don’t have to do anything for a few years. You can take some time off. So I think I did Do that. And if I were to do it again, I would say, It’s okay, you don’t have to do something which is moving the needle forwards all the time. It doesn’t have to be about work. But you know, that was another really ingrained habit in my life at the time, this being really, really busy being stressed, and learning to relax, take some time for myself and go, you don’t have to be that person anymore, you can be a different person. So for me, I did actually go, I eventually did go back to work. And I did work here in Spain for a short period of time. But it was in the UK, a hospital, a pediatrician works in a hospital. And here they work in primary care. And so it was a very different kind of doctoring than I was used to, and I kind of felt, these aren’t the skills that I have, I have a different set of skills. And I think going back and doing that, and it was sort of like, as my business was growing, my business started growing really, really, really slowly. And it’s only been in the last few years that it’s, you know, more than what they call it a gob, you know, something that I’ve earned more than a cup of coffee from. But at that time, I think it gave me the clarity to see, yeah, I don’t want to go back into medicine, what I want to do is build up this and this is, you know, I’m going to put all of my effort into this. And I had no idea still at that time, what that looked like I was still writing about kids. And you know, my, my, with my pediatric background, picky eating for kids and thinking, and part of me was just like, how am I ever going to turn this? Like, there was no belief in my self in terms of you can turn this into a viable business, it was just okay. Just keep going and see what happens.

Christy Fechser 26:45
Interesting. So, so you feel like for you that there? I mean, where did the belief come in, then because I, for me, I feel like in all of my business experience that I’ve had over the last two decades, there, you can’t achieve anything without somehow believing that you’re going to get there, right? Like we talked about getting from LA to New York, but you have to believe you’re gonna get there if even if you don’t know how you need to know you can. And yeah, so where did that come into play?

Dr. Orlena 27:17
So I think to begin with, I don’t think I really did have that belief, I just kind of had a belief of, you can do something, you can do something different. But it wasn’t a clear belief, it was just keep going, keep going. Keep you know, it was almost like I had a fifth child, my, you know, website, this little sort of like embryo of a business. And I think in the last few years, I’ve really realized how I can add value to other people’s lives. And you know, this idea of here is my goal here, and I’ve got more clarity on how I want my business to be. So I have a group program, which works very well for me, because it means I can look after my clients. But I don’t have, you know, calls all over the place. Well, I do but not all all over the place. But that, you know, getting that clarity really came later. So I guess it’s that it’s really far off. I have no idea what it’s looking like, I’m just going to keep working and have some kind of vague sense of yes, there is something that I can give this planet, and then it getting clearer and clearer as you get more. Yeah, you know, I have had coaches who’ve helped me, obviously, and it’s not. And I think getting in, to be honest, that’s another really big piece that I think is, is really important. Whatever your goal is, whether it’s a health goal, whether it’s a life transformation goal, whether it’s a business goal is get help, like people see it as a source of weakness, and oh, you know, I should be able to do this by myself, well, yes, you could do it by yourself, but that’s a much longer route. And what’s wrong with getting a coach? Yes, they cost money, but they are an investment, whether it’s health or business, you know, you get your money back somehow. And I personally think coaches have been amazing and in helping me move forwards.

Christy Fechser 29:10
Well, this is kind of a side tangent. But the thing that’s really interesting about the mentality of coaching is a lot of people, I think that they don’t I think people who don’t invest in coaches don’t see the value in investing in themselves yet. And that’s like where the real problem comes in. And when you as a human, realize that you are the only person that’s going to move your needle forward, you’re the only person that’s going to make a difference. You’re the only person that can affect change in your life. You’re the only one that can create your life to be the way that you want it to be. And you realize at some point, okay, I recognize the role I play in my own life. When you see that, it becomes really abundantly clear why somebody else’s perspective would help you move that needle faster, in a more positive direction, rather than trying to do it yourself. So I think that that’s is a really great plug for coaching and like mentoring and getting outside of your own brain, because what you’ve got to this point isn’t gonna get you to the next point, you need something different, you need a different kind of input to get you to the next level.

Dr. Orlena 30:13
Yeah, and I would think, also coming back to habits and systems, but whatever your habits and systems are, you’re still battling this habit brain. And this, what I call the thinking brain. And so it’s almost like your thinking brain makes a decision, hey, I want to get to point B, whether that is health or, you know, amazing live or whatever it is. Now, am I going to get there? And along that way, you are going to have problems and your brain kind of flips in and out of possibility. Yes, it’s going to be amazing. I’m going to get my dream house and despondency to, oh, my goodness, it’s never going to happen. And your brain does that. And that bit of your brain is trying to protect you. And what it’s saying is, hey, you know what, we’re alive now. All’s good. Let’s just Let’s just stick with things. Let’s

Christy Fechser 30:59
not rock the boat. Yeah, exactly.

Dr. Orlena 31:00
And your other parts of the brain is going, Yeah, but we could make it even better. It could be even more exciting and the other brains going no safe. We like this, just don’t change anything. And that is what is going to happen along the route. And you’re gonna go, I don’t want to eat like this anymore. I don’t want to do my exercise anymore. It’s never going to be a journey of hurray, hurray, hurray, it’s gonna be a journey of cray cray. Oh, I just fell flat on my face. The secret is, you need to get back up. And if you’ve got someone standing there reminding you, hey, you know what? You signed up for this? This is what you want. Remember, remember, this is? Yes, of course you can do it. You just need to get up and keep doing it. Don’t have somebody doing that for you. It’s really easy just to go. Now I can vote but I’m not gonna make any changes. That’s it.

Christy Fechser 31:50
It could definitely be a lonely journey and a lot slower. It’s nice to have somebody champion for you. For sure. Yeah,

Dr. Orlena 31:57
I mean, there are studies that basically say, if you looking at goals, you know, if you have accountability, it increases your chances of getting that goal. If you have a specific accountability, ie a coach, it increases your chances by 90%. Like 90% is amazing. But things like writing it down helps you increase your goals. But it’s about Yeah, we’re working towards this, and I’m having someone. And the other thing about coaches, I think, is people always say, oh, I should be able to do this by myself. And I always think, you know, what we send our kids to school, because we expect our kids to learn maths and English and whatever else. We don’t expect them to learn it by themselves. We don’t just give them a book and say, right, that’s it, you know, go and learn math, but you haven’t figured it out?

Christy Fechser 32:44
Well, and not only that, I mean, and I think that people, they don’t understand it, yeah, we go to school to learn, you know, math and science and reading and writing and spelling and all of those things. But they don’t teach, I don’t know how it is in England, but in the United States, they don’t teach you how to overcome obstacles and how to get past mental blocks, and how to find your own potential and to find the thing that you’re good at and that you can provide to the world. Like they don’t provide you with any of that kind of knowledge. So why would we assume that we just, like natively have that in ourselves to be able to overcome obstacles and to be able to create a new business or create a new us, right? Like, that kind of mentality is definitely something that’s going to hold you back. If you think I should be able to do this on my own? Well, you can, there’s a library and a whole self help book section, and you can go and read and read and read and try and implement. But when we’re talking about habits and successes, and you know, that kind of stuff, it’s gonna take you much longer to get there with that way, you know, with that pathway than it could if you were implementing somebody else who could help you get there faster. So, okay, so my last question that I have for you is, you know, in, in every aspect of your life, whether it’s you know, medical school, or it’s changing professions, or it’s having children writing books, whatever it is, there have been obstacles that have come up in your own life. And and I love that you said, this isn’t always going to be easy, and oftentimes isn’t the most beneficial things in life are oftentimes the hardest things to achieve, because there’s worth to it. You know, it’s easy for us to like sit on the couch and do nothing. It’s hard to get up and go walking, but it’s the most beneficial things that are sometimes the hardest. So what I want to ask is, how do you get past the excuses?

Dr. Orlena 34:40
Oh, good question. I did an entire podcast on that back earlier on. But you know, I think excuse excuses, like when we have those mistakes, I call them golden learning opportunities. Like every time something goes wrong. It’s a gold learning opportunity. Whether it is I’m thinking I when we moved To our house, I’ve put some cakes in the oven. They’re beautiful cakes with no flour in them. And I told my son to turn it off and take them out of the oven. There were two of them, he took one out. And the other was, oh, no, I can’t remember what he did and how they were totally burned. But you know, that’s a really good golden learning opportunity for my son, and for me, as well. But also, when we think about this repeated behavior that we have these habits, you get an opportunity to learn about that quite frequently, every time you do that, it’s quite frequently. So you know, to answer your question, how do you get past the excuses? It’s really you need to lay those excuses out and look at them and think, Is this true? And it’s about getting clarity on what do you really want? And what’s important to you? Do you want? So when I’m talking to my clients, do you want to lead a long and healthy life? Or do you want to carry on being overweight, being unhealthy and potentially looking at heart disease? Which do you want? And when you’re really crystal clear on what you want, those excuses fall away? Because yeah, okay, I’ve got to pay money. Yeah, I’ve got to do things differently. Yeah, if you don’t do things differently, you’re gonna get the same results. Yep, I haven’t got much time. We’ve all got 24 hours. Yep, I don’t want to do that. Well, you know, if you don’t want to do it, you have to find something that you do want to do. There are there are li ways, but those excuses, just pale into significance in significance, when you’re really crystal clear that you want to change that when you start doing things intentionally. Or you choose to just, you know, take the ride that you’re given, which may be amazing. But you’re not creating that amazing self, you’re just, you know, getting whatever random results.

Christy Fechser 36:46
Yes. I think that that’s so true. And I think that it’s really important for people to understand that when we’re looking at excuses, in my business, in my coaching business, for people who are doing their own business. So I always tell people, if you’re looking for an excuse, any excuse will do, like you don’t even have to get fancy about it, you can just come up with whatever you want. But when you’re ready to get serious, yeah, it’s like you have to get that clarity. And, you know, for one person, their excuses another person’s reason. And so you can come up against that. And you can say, is this an excuse? Or is this a reason? Is there a reason that I need to change? You know, and when you’re talking about health and heart disease, and all of those things? Well, yeah, it’s gonna cost money now. But right now, it can be your choice, to move that needle in the right direction, or later on down the line, you’re gonna have to pay the money anyways. And it’s going to take the time, and you’re gonna have to make the changes. So it’s, it’s really about living your life from a place of being proactive or being reactive. Really, that’s what it really comes down to. So totally, I love that. Okay, thank you so much for jumping on and having a conversation with me, I do have to tell you that my favorite quote, as of late is from you. And I can’t tell you how many times I have shared it with people. And it is that the best thing that you can give your kids is your own happiness. And the second best is vegetables. I love it. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve told people that I’m like, Oh my gosh, this quote is like my favorite quote right now. And I’ve just like

Dr. Orlena 38:20
sums me and my business up in my life. You know, number one is your health. Sorry, your happiness. And number two is health. And you have to combine the two of them.

Christy Fechser 38:29
It’s true. It’s true. Okay, well, thank you, Dr. arlena, for joining us. Where can people find you on line?

Dr. Orlena 38:38
Fabulous? Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me. And thank you for asking. So I have my own podcast set and fabulous at 40. And beyond. I have my website, Dr. lena.com. I have an amazing Facebook group, which I think is like group doctoral Lena, its name changes frequently, but it’s about natural weight loss and energy restoration for busy mums. And if anybody is serious about making health changes, and you know, want some help, more than happy to chat to people and you know, see if we’re a good fit, and see if they’d like to join my group program.

Christy Fechser 39:12
Love it. Love it. And that’s just DrOrlena.com, right?

Dr. Orlena 39:16
Yes, yeah. drorlena.com. Thank you my amazing parents for giving me a strange name. So I have to spell it out.

Christy Fechser 39:24
Oh, well. Yeah, that’s my last name is Fechser. And people are like, what? So yeah, I’m with you. I get it. Okay, well, thank you. Again, I really appreciate your time and you know, you sharing your wisdom. I really love what you’re doing in yourself and in your community and being able to help women be able to overcome kind of the things that have been holding them back with their health and giving them really a new lease on life. I just really respect that and honor you for doing that and showing up in that space when you could have chosen something else.

Dr. Orlena 39:54
thank you and my job is amazing. I just love seeing women may I’m like that normal women. Did I get it when we go back to that? I can’t do it. Yes, you can do it. You so can do it.

Christy Fechser 40:07
Yes. Yes. I think that that’s really important is that that that belief that you can you can you can and telling yourself over and over and having you as a coach to be able to tell them yes you can. It’s just so invaluable. All right, thank you so much. We will catch up with you later.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai