Episode 7 – Emotional Eating and How to Stop the Guilt

Christy Fechser 0:00
All right. Hi, Nikki, thanks for joining me today. Super excited to have you on I especially after our last conversation, I just felt like we kind of vibed good. And I was excited to be able to get you on and have a discussion with you about kind of like what you worked on, and how that applies to my listeners specifically. So thanks for joining me.

Nikky Bennett 0:19
Thank you for having me. I’m so excited to be here. I love what you do and what you talk about with your women. So I think we can just you know, work together and just help women really live the life that they’re destined to live and stop feeling. You know, so stuck.

Christy Fechser 0:32
Yeah, awesome. Okay, so as an icebreaker, what I like to do when I start out my podcast with other people is just to ask five kind of their super random questions and all over the place. So brace yourself. Okay, first one is your favorite author or book?

Nikky Bennett 0:48
You know what I’m just gonna say this because I’m reading it with my son right now. We’re on Book number five is Harry Potter is such a great series. Just so nostalgic, and I feel like the character development is on point.

Christy Fechser 1:02
Yeah, I love it. Okay, chocolate or vanilla. Vanilla. Okay, favorite destination?

Nikky Bennett 1:09
Oh, my goodness. I have can I say too? I have to. Sure. Okay, so I love Australia so much and, and Southeast Asia like the Thailand

Christy Fechser 1:18
I’ve never been to either and would love to go to both Southeast Asia especially I love that area. I’m learning Mandarin. So yeah, Asia is totally got my heart. Okay. Oh, things to do to relax.

Nikky Bennett 1:31
I really just love. I have this chair in front of a window in my house that I like to just sit and drink some tea or coffee and stare out the window.

Christy Fechser 1:41
I love that answer. I the reason why I asked this question is because I think that people think that it’s supposed to always just be like, meditation and yoga. And you know, but for everybody, it’s a little bit different. I mean, it could be walking or just like sitting quietly, which is I think something that we don’t get enough of just quiet. I think I told you, I was gonna ask you five questions, but that was four. So that’s okay. So just for everybody to understand kind of why I brought Nikki in. And I’m having her on the podcast a little bit about what she does. So she and she actually has a business partner, Shana. And they together have a nutrition company that teaches women basically how to live or Yeah, live and kind of eat within the bounds of like intuition and not feeling guilty surrounding, you know, like what you’re eating, which is something for women that is so prevalent, we feel guilty about literally everything guilty about what we’re doing, what we’re not doing and how we’re doing and what other people are doing and how they’re treating us and how we’re treating them. And this guilt thing is just like, we’ve got to figure out how to rein that in. Do you find that in the women that you coach that the the guilt aspect is a major player in the way that they eat and whether they live their life?

Nikky Bennett 3:02
Oh, 100%, guilt stems so deep in everything that I find women experience with eating, because from such a young age, you’re already like, you know, told to finish food on your plate and told their starving kids and other countries. And that kind of starts the whole guilt around, either not eating enough or eating too much. And then, you know, and then as they age, they’re being scrutinized, you know, what you’re supposed to look like, and then all these diet companies sending out all these rules and messages, and so the guilt around when they just want to enjoy food, like oh, I just really want a slice of pizza with my family. And then they failed. Can they beat themselves up over it? And and then it just yeah, it just snowballs into moreover eating or restriction that causes binging. It’s just, it’s kind of the root of of it all I would say.

Christy Fechser 3:47
Yeah. Yeah, it’s so frustrating. I like that you pointed out really, that it stems from a young age. And I think that a lot. A lot of our problems stem from a young age, when we have people that we view as you know, adult figures and people who have all their crap together giving us advice or guidance or putting us in a box or telling us what we are or aren’t or what we can do or can’t do, that we trust them. And we think that they must know what they’re talking about only to realize as we become adults ourselves that we don’t all have our crap together all the time, and that not everything that we say is actually like factual or true or correct, or you know, like, Yeah, and so it’s interesting to me, though, as we age that somehow, even though we can see in ourselves that we don’t have it all together as an adult, we still hang on to the beliefs that those adults when we were children, who didn’t have it all together, we’re still hanging on to them as if they were true and right and correct. And they have become a foundational piece of who we are. And it’s just an interesting kind of cycle of I don’t know, it’s fascinating in my brain to kind of look at that stuff and figure out kind of the root cause of things because we can’t fix what we do. don’t acknowledge

Nikky Bennett 5:00
Yeah, I was just gonna say it’s those, even though we know as adults like our Critical Thinking higher like frontal cortex our brain is like that’s not factual information. It’s is it’s so deep interior, like subconscious belief and value system that it still drives your behavior and your feelings of guilt. So yeah, it’s yes. It’s so interesting. Yes,

Christy Fechser 5:21
it’s fascinating to me the correlation between our subconscious and conscious mind and so many things that just hang out in our subconscious, that we’re not even actively trying to rewrite, like, a lot of times. And I think that this is where what you were saying about sitting quietly, it gives us an opportunity for introspection, which most people don’t ever do. And we can’t overwrite things that we don’t acknowledge, and we can’t acknowledge them, if we never have the time to just sit and be quiet and think about like, I wonder where I got that belief. And this was actually something that happened in the beginning of like, my husband and I’s marriage, he had pointed out to me, he’s like you, like made these beliefs in high school about certain things. And I don’t think that they’re serving you. And it really, like, took me aback and was like, Hmm, maybe I should really think about that. And since then, it’s just part of my daily practice, you know, the way that I live is to have that time for introspection, and to think about, like, where did this come from, and there’s so much value in that in what you’re doing. You know, and I’m sure that you guys implement that a lot in what you’re talking about, and how you coach, one of the things that I have noticed is that is really prevalent in our society is the aspect of emotional eating, you know, that I mean, this could be anything, right? Like it, we emotionally do something in an extreme behavior that isn’t good for us, whether that is shopping, and then we get in a ton of debt or is eating and then we’re not healthy, or being in a relationship, and then it’s not healthy. And there’s a lot of things that we can do. But since we’re talking to you, let’s talk a little bit about emotional eating, like, why it happens, how it happens, when we’re more susceptible to it happening, and how to stop it from happening.

Nikky Bennett 7:04
Wonderful. So emotional eating, it’s good that you started with talking about like, the guilt and how it happens from a young age, because emotional eating is, is the exact same thing. And so I always tell women, like you were born. And day one, you’re already taught to use food as a way of coping with emotions. And like when you’re an infant, you know, you cry, and you’re fed. And some of that crying is actual hunger, but it’s often like the first response. And so that happens, and then you’re in your child, and let’s say you fall in skin, your knee, then the first thing that are often offered then is let’s go have a cookie, you know, feel better. So food is then offered as comfort. And then you as you grow, you go play soccer, and you score a goal. And then your parents are like, Hey, let’s celebrate with an ice cream cone, you know, and then you’re a teenager, and you break up with your significant other and your friends are like, let’s go get ice cream, like, you know, we’re taught literally from day one, that food is a great way to cope with emotions, and we’re not really like, hopefully are in future generations, because we’re more aware of emotional regulation and intelligence. But you know, I feel like definitely our generation. And further you’re kind of like taught to mask emotions, to suppress emotions. And so we only really know food as a comfort. And it really does become this Learn behavior that happens so quickly. Again, in the subconscious brain, you feel stress, you feel boredom, you feel sad, and the first thought is eat. And it’s only our really type of way of coping, and we actually, we use food to feel better. So get a little bit of a dopamine response, but also to not have to deal with that emotion. We’re too scared to feel sadness or to feel the pain. It’s yeah,

Christy Fechser 8:41
I actually had a conversation with my husband this morning. And I said something about, he was really stressed out at work right now. And I was like, I really don’t like it when you’re stressed out, because your energy is just really heavy. And he’s like, I don’t like to be stressed, either. I know, it’s not good for me physically, or mentally I’m like, or emotionally and he’s like, I only have one emotion. And I was like, that’s a that’s a fat lie. Even though you don’t acknowledge your emotions, they’re actually there. And that is true for everybody is that people think that we only have like four major emotions, but they’re like, I have a list that people can access. I mean, I use it around like goal setting, using your emotions and goal setting. Oh, yeah. But there’s like over 400 emotions that I have in this list of things that we feel and you know, it could be in the positive or in the negative, but it’s interesting that you’re correlating and I’d never even really thought about this is that when we’re young, if we get hurt, we go to the doctor’s office, there’s a sucker and when we you know, have a hard thing like a breakup, it’s like let’s go eat ice cream or when we celebrate let’s go get pizza. That there’s always like a food aspect to it, which is really interesting. I didn’t ever really think about a correlate the two of them together that it’s like a response to everything. So whether you’re happy or sad or mad or like, whatever, it’s food.

Nikky Bennett 9:57
Exactly. Yeah. And it’s It’s hard as a parent to not do that. So you know, we don’t we want to heal emotional eating in ourselves. But if if we are parenting children to also keep that in mind when we want to, like provide food as the first response to anything to and I don’t I never tell my clients like, it’s not like, you’re bad if you do offer food in those moments, but maybe have like a whole basket of different options and once in a while it’s food but using other things. Yeah, yeah, to her children. But yeah,

Christy Fechser 10:28
I think that that’s really great. What I mean, you can’t fix also, I mean, a lot of times, if it’s the way you’ve been raised, it’s the way you raise, and you know, to break that cycle and be like, Okay, well, when you need comfort, it’s going to come in the form of a hug, or a walk, or a talk or, you know, like, let’s do something different, instead of just turning it to food all the time, which, yes, is so valuable. So in the extremes that we, you know, sometimes live in, we can oftentimes lose ourselves in, in those behaviors, and we forget who we are. And when we were talking the other day, we had a little bit of a discussion about kind of losing yourself and how bringing it back out of the extremes and kind of living in a in a place of harmony. And following your intuition helps us to actually find ourselves. So can you talk on that just a little bit about kind of, like, losing yourself and finding yourself? And how, with your clients, specifically, how you’ve been able to help them kind of come full circle in that?

Nikky Bennett 11:29
Yeah, absolutely. So I mean, there’s so many different ways I feel like women can lose themselves and motherhood or even just keeping up with the Joneses if you’re not a mother, you know, all the things. And we often because again, we we have all these learned behaviors and way we eat and reactive food, we end up with this autopilot reactive, where, you know, we’re doing all these things are putting everyone else first we’re and we’re suffering deep down inside, essentially, you know, we’re not doing what we really want, and we’re not eating how we really want and we’re feeling out of control with these behaviors, because we’re reactive, like we’re stressed, eating, you know, evening snacking things, emotional eating, that don’t feel good, and are literally living in this reactive cycle, which isn’t great in terms of like hormones and cortisol and, and management and your overall health. And so, a big thing, like we help women with eating but also with, yeah, like rediscovering what they really want in life, and what brings them joy, and prioritizing their self care and their happiness. Really, you can only you know, you always hear the analogy of the bucket, you know, you can only give so much until your buckets empty. And so many women are running on like, you know, very little water in their bucket. And they once in a while get to trickle in, maybe if they get like, to go shopping by themselves or something, you know, and, and but like, if you really want to be the best you and the best mom, friend, we really do need to start putting ourselves for but again, guilt. I feel like guilt plays into that because I used to feel so guilty if I put myself first you know, like I was some sort of selfish, Mom, if I just wanted a break from the family to like, go on a weekend away with my girlfriends or something, you know, yeah, yeah, feels and so to be able to again, though, and those are those stories that we’ve written that aren’t necessarily true. Maybe we’ve heard them from our moms or grandparents or things, or what we see on TV, but when we can bring those thoughts of guilt and shame from our subconscious viewer them, and then rewrite being like, No, I deserve this, you know, I need to do this to be the best person that I can be. And and when you can do all you also form a better relationship with food because you’re not in that like reactive reactive state of mind all the time. Yeah, right.

Christy Fechser 13:43
Right. I heard a quote, last week from a woman who used to be a pediatrician. And she said, one of the best things that you can give your kids is your own happiness. And it just struck me well, and then she said, the second best thing is vegetables, which is both both true. But I love that message. Because I know for a fact that most moms will always put themselves last when it comes to their spouse, and their children, they will always take that kind of backseat. And I know that for me so years ago, it was interesting when you started talking about cortisol and your stress hormones and all of those things. years ago, so about a decade ago, I started a business and which it was a wellness business, funnily enough, because I like totally hit burnout in that business. Because I was still trying to homeschool my kids and run my business, be the mom be the wife take care of the house all of the things and so an eating for me has never been like a big like I don’t find relief in eating that is not where I get my stress relief from. And so like I eat to live that is it and sometimes I forget that I have to eat to live. Yes And so So mine is kind of on the other side of the extreme in like, I just I don’t even hardly think about it. But as I’ve started this business and started doing the podcast and the YouTube and you know, coaching and that kind of stuff, I’ve realized that I don’t want to hit burnout again, in the way that I had in my last business. And that I also am not the kind of mom or wife that I want to be if I’m not taking care of myself first, because I literally have nothing left to give, you know, so and I think that that is so important for women to really understand is that it is important for us to take care of ourselves. And if that means a weekend away, that’s what it means. Right? Yeah. Because just because we said, you know, we signed up to be a mom, or we signed up to be a wife doesn’t mean that we stop being ourselves. And actually, when we get into that cycle, of losing ourselves and giving more than we have, it eventually comes to a head because you cannot function in that space forever. So it’s not a matter of if it’s a matter of when, and it’s going to catch up with you.

Nikky Bennett 15:59
You know, and I personally tell my clients, like you deserve self care every day, you know, a weekend away is wonderful and so fun, and everyone needs that, but like, we need to start prioritizing, doing something to fill our bucket every day, whether it’s just sitting out and looking at nature for 15 minutes, or, or just saying, you know, what, I know I wanted to do laundry today, but it’ll still be there tomorrow, you know, with your kids or whatever. And, and really just saying that, because like you said, you’re you can only do it for so much. And if you’re thinking I can’t do these things, because then I’m not a good mom, wife, partner. Well, what’s gonna happen when, you know, the stress hormones, and your health deteriorates, because you didn’t take time for yourself? You know, it’s scary to think about that picture. When you do hit rock bottom, and you’re burnt out and and you’re suffering, then you can’t, you can’t be it, the wife, partner, Mom, you want to be and it’s hard to come back from that. So yeah,

Christy Fechser 16:51
it’s like, it’s you, your choice is taken away from you at that point, I remember hitting that point for me, and it was like, I would get up in the morning and shower, and I would have to go take a nap because I literally had nothing that left my adrenals were totally shot. And it took years to come back from that and a lot of like vacationing and traveling and introspection and, you know, just and but I love what you said about sometimes self care looks like things that we should not do that day that it isn’t always about, you know, taking a warm bath or you know, going for a walk or having time alone. Or sometimes it’s about not doing the dishes or not making the bed or not doing the laundry or not vacuuming or you know, like that checklist of things that we have to do that day. Because maybe in that quiet time of the thing that we’re not doing, we’re not stressing, and we can just relax. That’s, that’s a really valuable piece of information. So moving to the next one. And this is something that really stood out to me when I was going over your website and kind of looking at what you guys do is the whole idea of intuitive eating. And I, I would obviously branch that out into intuitive living as a general goal, because I think that there’s not enough of that, that we just kind of go with a quota of the expectations that others have placed upon us. And we stop listening to ourselves and our gut. And women especially are very, very intuitive. And if we can tap more into that, we will only be served well by doing that. So with reference to eating specifically, talk about intuitive eating and kind of like what that looks like. I don’t I don’t know that most people are going to even understand what that is.

Nikky Bennett 18:35
Yeah, and there’s a lot of misinformation about it on Instagram, intuitive eating or as Shane and I like to call it like food freedom is kind of our way of saying it. But yet it’s so it’s really eating in the way that you were born like we were all born intuitive eaters, you know, you’ve see if you’ve got if you’ve been around kids, you can give them a cookie. And if they’re not into it, or they’re full, they will take a bite and be like bye and run away. You know, like they’re over it. And so intuitive eating is really just being a skill of being able to listen to your body, eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full, which is a very, very simplified version of it. And I know people are like well I’ll never like I don’t I don’t know those cues or I’ll only want to eat if I if I eat whatever I want. I’m only going to want to eat doughnuts and chips and stuff like that because really with intuitive eating there’s no food rule eat what you want in an amount that feels good, but you’re eating that the caveat is you’re eating with the intention to feel better. And you know, eating over eating doesn’t feel good under eating doesn’t feel good. eating cake for breakfast every day doesn’t actually feel good, you know might taste for a moment but if you’re like how do you feel at 10am and you’re meeting at work after eating cake for breakfast. You’re not going to be feeling I would die for great right? Yeah, yeah, blood sugar crashing, you’re like ready for nap. So that’s the part I always really expresses. When you eat with the intention to feel better and you have no food rule then your body can guide you into what you want to eat. And I think that people are so detached from that because of diet culture. and being told you must eat vegetables are good, these foods are bad that maybe never really felt that ability to like, have an actual craving for veggies or something that’s on the healthier side. But I always ask them always, like, have you gone on vacation somewhere where you had to eat out all the time, maybe you went to, you know, all inclusive resort or you had to eat less food on a road trip. And you’re like, I just can’t wait to get home and eat like murder, like, that’s that. That’s that intuition coming out. That’s more on the extreme side. But when you are, when you have food freedom, or your full intuitive eater that comes out all of the time, ya know, like, when you walk into the back kitchen for breakfast, and you do have cake in your fridge, you could have cake, but you’re like, I actually just really feel like a bowl of cereal with some fruit on the side, you know, or I just feel like I can toast in a banana like it, it comes out and you have that balance. And then you enjoy the cake at a time when you’re hungry for it and you have cravings for it. And you’re going to eat it mindfully in a way that feels good. So you’re not over eating it. You’re not eating at all, just to get the cake away. You’re just having some to your to your content. And so yeah, yeah, it’s it’s, I know, that was a long winded version

Christy Fechser 21:06
of what I was amazing. No, I loved that explanation. Because I think that people don’t I mean, at one point, like you said, in our lives, we knew how to eat intuitively. Because as a child, we weren’t overeating. Like it wasn’t I wasn’t all about eating, we that’s a learned behavior over eating. And emotional eating is a learned behavior. And which means the thing I love most about learning something is that then you can unlearn it. And you have a way to be able to go back to what is your actual baseline the way that your body really wants to feel. And I know that when people start eating more healthily, they start craving the junk, you know, they are they quite a bit less anyways. And I say this from my own experience, because when I was younger, because I wasn’t a huge foodie, but I needed energy, I usually turned to sweets to candy, because I could still function and I still had enough energy and all of those things. And then you know, caffeinated drinks came into the picture. And when I was in high school, I was like, I don’t like the way that I feel when I drink drinks that have caffeine in them. And so I quit cold turkey, which then the headaches set in right, then you feel like garbage to even in that. But afterwards, like it made the, it made a huge difference in the way that I felt. And then as I got older and wiser, and I decided, you know, I should probably eat more balanced meals instead of just candy and you know, sweet things, I realized that I didn’t have those like spikes, you know, like you were talking about that like sugar high and then the crash and sugar high in the crash and sugar high in the crash. And I think that most people don’t even know what it feels like to feel good. Yeah, because they have been abusing their bodies for so long, that they don’t even know what that feels like. And I mean, I know that I’ve I have gone through that my husband has gone through that. And I think that that’s part of the battle in our culture anyways is that when we don’t stop to eat good food, we do that, you know, we’re just flying through the drive thru and we get whatever we can but that doesn’t feel as good as a good home cooked meal or like for my favorite thing to eat for breakfast is sliced tomatoes and cucumbers that is literally my go to. I love it, it makes me feel good. It’s a good way to start out the day it gives you good fiber, you know, like there are so many benefits to it and I love having that I would have never thought that as a child or even a teenager or even a young mom that that would be like a breakfast food. But that I think is where the intuitive eating comes in is that you’re eating the way that makes you feel good. Instead of trying to like silence emotions through the food that you’re eating. Yeah,

Nikky Bennett 23:54
or to fit the narrative of whatever Diet Rules you’ve been told you know like a lot of people fear food and fear hunger and fear eating because that’s what they’ve been taught to diet culture and people saying they need to lose weight or they need to look a certain way and so again, you can you can be really in a whole eating experience. And again, if you’re you know, eating distracted and you’re you know going through a drive thru and you’re driving while eating and you don’t know when you’re full you don’t know how they taste or if you’re satisfied or how your body feels and then yeah and then you feel like you don’t feel great you know later on a couple hours later and then that guilt sets in again you’re like oh why did I do that but then you just get that just living on that go go go not taking the time to to be aware of how food is making you feel make keeps us so disconnected and so when you say like Why create like I really love tomatoes and cucumbers in the morning there’s probably some women listening that are like there’s no way I would ever want that right? Without a doubt. Yeah, because they just haven’t felt you know, when you’re thinking of what am I allowed to eat? What what the right calories are low Carver look, you know, fitting in all these rules, the last thing you want to do is eat vegetables. Like it’s just it’s because you’re think you should eat vegetables, you don’t want them, you know, it’s that autonomy, like asserting your own autonomy that gets lost to and that’s why people don’t really want to eat vegetables because they’ve been forcing themselves eat them for so many, many years that nine, you know, boring with no flavor. And, you know, it’s just, it’s just a giant mess really? Yeah,

Christy Fechser 25:24
no, it is. And one of the things that I think that I respect the most about what you guys are doing is removing that guilt factor out of it and calling it like food freedom that you can make those choices for yourself. And that it doesn’t have to be like that, it doesn’t have to be a regulation, because you’re right, when we feel regulated into doing something, we are naturally inclined to resist it. Yep. And so when somebody says eat more vegetables, or only eat it this time, or this time and only eat this thing, and only these calories, and you know, like, whoa, as if we don’t have enough stupid rules that we have to keep track of like, the way we should be eating shouldn’t be one of them, we will all only be served by listening to ourselves and being more intuitive in that way. And I think that there’s so much value in that type of living, like I said, just in general, just intuitive living in general. But one thing that you said about driving, you know, going through the drive thru and getting a quick burger or whatever. And we’re not listening to ourselves, like, when are we done? Like, when are we full? And you can’t understand those cues, if you are so bombarded with everything else, that you’re not even listening to yourself. Yeah. And the aspect you said in the beginning, you know, that when we’re children, we are often taught to finish everything on our plate. Well, a lot of times in American culture, especially like our serving Porsches are ridiculous. And it’s been interesting with my husband, because when we were first married, you know, if I couldn’t eat all my food, he would finish, you know, his food and my food. And there’s some point along the way, he would be like, I don’t really want to finish eating this. And I’m like, You’re not a garbage disposal. Like you don’t have to. And I understand that, you know, we don’t want to waste food. But we also aren’t garbage disposals, we aren’t supposed to just shove everything through us just because, yeah, that’s also not, it’s not just wasting the food, it’s wasting you, you know, and your financial and your body and your health and like, yeah, so there is a trade off in those extreme kind of behaviors. And I love that you guys are, you know, really helping kind of shift that paradigm and help people see, eating from a totally different perspective, that we’re not following a regimented, controlled diet, that we’re just trying to reframe it in a healthy way, mentally first, so that it can be healthy in you know, that interaction with food. So I just think what you guys are doing is really awesome,

Nikky Bennett 27:51
we are so passionate about it. Because just like you are with, with helping women like we don’t, there’s so much potential for life, you know, and with your eating, if you’re, if you’re stressed and worried and hyper focused on your eating and what you didn’t need and what you did eat and how you look and all that stuff. You just miss out on so much life, you know, it takes up so much space in your brain and energy and, and even as moms who, you know, maybe feel like, oh, I don’t, I can’t go on to the beach with my kids until I lose 10 pounds and have these, you know, you miss out on all these minor kids, you’re gonna look back on one day, because you’re worried about how others are gonna think of you and you know, it’s just you’re not living for you. And we say to women do I’m always like, everyone on the beach is worried about their own self, no one’s looking at, you know, that keeps just wanting to be with you just go you know. So

Christy Fechser 28:41
And even if they are, even if they are thinking about you, it’s none of your business. Right? Like, exactly, and their opinion has no bearing on your life unless you allow it to be there. So, yeah, that’s a whole that’s a whole episode in itself. You just like hitting my buttons? Yeah, awesome. Okay, so what is your biggest thing that you feel like people could implement on, you know, a day to day basis that makes this feasible for them?

Nikky Bennett 29:15
I think from taking away everything that we talked about is creating a pause. I think the first step to feeling good about your eating and in control of like in control and not being like diet, culture control, but just like being able to stop when you’re full and not being in that reactive state is bringing what you’re doing from your subconscious to the forefront of your brain awareness. So, you know, if you catch yourself in the kitchen, I’m not sure why you’re in there. Just stop and ask yourself, What am I in here for no guilt, no shame, like, like you’re asking your best friend neutrally. So you can figure out what’s causing you to get there what’s getting you in that reactive mode, because once you can do that, then you can start unlearning breaking those habits those strong neural pathways your brain is neuro plastic. You can change though And then you can start to create new outcomes, create new coping mechanisms create, you know, whatever you want the outcome to be. So

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